


Savoring The Heir

by PFDiva



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Gen, Grief, I can't believe that's not a tag, Multi, Non-Graphic Cannabalism, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Ritual Cannabalism, Timeline What Timeline, funeral rites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 04:38:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6738490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PFDiva/pseuds/PFDiva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a troll dies, last rites must be performed, a final meal held in their honor.  This is Equius's funeral.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Savoring The Heir

**Author's Note:**

> Betaed by [Newtavore](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Newtavore/pseuds/Newtavore) and [Azzandra](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Azzandra/pseuds/Azzandra). All mistakes are not their fault.

Nepeta stared at the corpse lying across the table, still in shock. Equius was dead. Her moirail. The strongest, grossest, most wonderful troll she'd ever known. How was this possible? Logically, she knew he was a victim of the war. He'd overextended himself. Between technology development and battle, his heart had given out. That powerful, soothing, pounding heart had stilled and taken him from her.

She sniffled, laying her ear on his chest one last time. Silence. His skin was colder than normal and dry—the funerary company had thoroughly washed him before laying him out. It was a lucky thing his quandrants and friends were all able to get here, because she couldn't stand the thought of someone else seeing Equius like this. Someone who didn't know him. She'd always assumed that he'd outlive her. He was higher-blooded than her, stronger than her, bigger and more obedient to orders than her—this wasn't FAIR!

She burst into frustrated tears and sobbed into his chest for what felt like forever. She could hear conversations happening behind and around her, but she didn't care.

When she'd spent all her tears, a cold hand grabbed her wrist, and she turned, snarling at Eridan. He bared his teeth and hissed in reply. His face was blotchy and purple, his usually annoyingly perfect hair straggling limp around his face. The temperature was comfortable for Nepeta, so he was probably overheated.

“You're holding up the meal, Nep,” he growled, folding a knife into her hand. It was only his grip on her wrist that kept her from slashing at him with it.

“We're NOT doing it!”

“Everyone's already here.”

“I don't care!” She shrieked at him, frustrated that he was so calm when her universe was collapsing. She punched Eridan in the shoulder, and he took it without a grimace. She could literally knock him off his feet with a single blow—this wasn't right! She tried again, and again, finally crumpling into his chest. His fingers tangled in her hair, and he let out a sad, sympathetic little crooning noise. How pathetic, to be pitied by her kismesis.

“I hate you,” she mumbled into his dampening shirt. His grip on her tightened as he murmured, “Hate you, too, and I'll hate you past the night I'm carving your bulge out of your ancient, desiccated husk.” She laughed, watery and thin.

“I hope it makes you sick.”

“You would be that spiteful.”

She pulled away and punched him in the shoulder, a bittersweet smile on her face. He stumbled back half a step and squeezed her wrist so hard that her bones ground together.

“C'mon, Nep.”

She nodded, sniffling again as she retrieved her wrist and looked at Equius's body again. His chest was smeared green from her tears. She swiped at the mess with her hand, trying to conceal her shame. As if everyone hadn't already seen her fall apart twice. Vriska and Tavros muttered to each other in a corner, while Sollux and Aradia quietly talked across Equius's waist. Even though they both looked calm, Aradia's claws were digging into Equius's thigh, while Sollux's eyes irregularly sparked at the corners.

Equius had died with full quadrants; a feat emphasized by the fact that they'd invited the rest of their friend group as stand-ins, and the humans as well. The humans were all huddled together, talking and looking a little queasy, but determined. They probably wouldn't eat, but it didn't matter. They were here.

Nepeta took her place at Equius's head, and everyone else moved where they belonged. Vriska and Tavros were Equius's ashen partners, so they faced each other across Equius's torso, Tavros big and awkward, his face sad, while Vriska feigned indifference and kept dabbing at her eyes, trying to avoid smearing her makeup. Sollux and Aradia were Equius's concuspient partners, so they faced each other across Equius's hips. Everyone else just stood where they could see Equius's quadrantmates.

“We are here,” Nepeta began, “To honor the life Equius lived. To partake in his strength and share him with each other. We are here to ensure his legacy is not condemned to uselessly dissolve, but lives on in us.” She pet his hair back, feeling the tears well up again. “He was the best moirail any troll could want.” And with that, she severed his head from his body, lifting up the head platform and positioning his head so that he could 'watch' the proceedings. No blue blood spilled from her actions—evidence of the funerary company's thorough work.

Nepeta passed the knife to Tavros, who turned it in his hand for a moment before saying, “Equius was a fair auspistice. He never let me win more than I earned, or lose more than I deserved to.” He sniffled then, brown tears beginning to trail down his face. “I don't know what we're gonna do without him.” He worked the knife into the socket of Equius's shoulder, neatly separating Equius's arm from his body, then passed the knife to Vriska.

“Equius was a creepy, sweaty bulge lump,” Vriska declared. “But someone had to put up with him, and I guess I had to be one of those trolls.” With that abrupt statement, she cut Equius's other arm from his body in much the same way Tavros had.

Aradia's psionics, red and flickering, took the knife from Vriska. Aradia still hadn't precisely made up with Vriska, but they'd both play nice tonight. Aradia held the knife up, mournfully frowning at it. “I will live to see another night, and I'm not the one who killed him. So I should be the winner. He always claimed that I was beneath him, and I frequently showed him how wrong he was. But this is the final insult, the final wrong he can inflict on me, and the unfairness is that I can't tell him what a terrible thing he has done.” She lowered the knife. “Well played.”

Much as Tavros had worked his knife into the socket of Equius's shoulder, Aradia worked hers into the socket of Equius's hip, detaching his leg from his body. She handed the knife to Sollux, who gave her a weak smile before addressing the assembled group. “Equius couldn't code for anything, but that's why he came to me. I helped him with coding, he helped me with mechanics, it worked. When we were together, the universe felt right. Not just because of the tech stuff, but that was great, too. He was always so afraid of hurting me, but he never did. My respite block still smells like him.”

His voice broke, and he swallowed hard, forcing a smile, “But that's Sweatquius for you.” His comment caused a small laugh to ripple throughout the room. Before the laughter dissipated, Sollux had removed Equius's leg and was passing the knife back to Nepeta.

If Equius hadn't been dead before they began, he definitely was now, and Nepeta looked at the corpse of her diamond with a hunter's eye. She skillfully cut through skin and muscle to expose his ribcage and the blue of his internal organs. “Who has the plates?”

“Me.” Karkat came forward, passing plates to Equius's quadrantmates. His face was a mess and he looked miserable, which Nepeta understood all too well. With a little help from Tavros and Aradia, Nepeta cracked Equius's sternum, peeling his ribs open. Nepeta was entitled to Equius's ribs, but she had to wait until his chest cavity was empty.

Vriska and Tavros each took a lung and headed for the grill. Terezi was Vriska's moirail, so she took Vriska's vacated place. Tavros didn't have a moirail, so Feferi filled that place for him. Dave was Tavros's matesprit, so primacy should have skipped to him, but he hadn't been sure he could take it. Humans didn't mourn death this way, after all. He was queueing up behind Feferi, curiously peering around her, so maybe he would be alright after all.

Sollux and Aradia carefully cut out Equius's bulge and shameglobes. Aradia took the bulge and one shameglobe, while Sollux took the other, then reached up to cut out Equius's heart. Aradia went to join Tavros and Vriska at the grill. Sollux and Aradia were moirails to each other, so Kanaya stepped up behind Aradia, while Dirk substituted for Sollux's moirail.

The sound of a sizzle and the smell of cooking meat caught everyone's attention. Unsurprisingly, Aradia was the first to begin the cooking, even though Tavros and Vriska had gotten there ahead of her. She was his kismesis. And the kismesis would always be the boldest.

Conversation began soon after that, as the others began retrieving organs abandoned by Equius's clade, or slicing sections from Equius's arms and legs. Nepeta stopped paying attention until she got a light elbow in the side. Eridan again, with a plate full of yet-uncooked sliced Equius. She looked at Equius's body to find that the organs had been cleared out of the chest cavity. The limbs were mostly only bones now. The intestines and stomach had been removed and set aside, because noone could reat those anyway. Nepeta began cutting out Equius's ribs.

Karkat had taken over the cooking at one end of the wide, flat cooking grill—he even had some spices—and he gave Nepeta a sad smile, “Do you want me to...?” She handed over her plate of ribs with a small “Please.” At the opposite end of the grill was Eridan, who reached past Nepeta to get spices from Karkat, bumping into her in the process. When he did it twice more in the course of cooking his plate, Nepeta decided it was intentional and finally graced him with a growl. He laughed at her, and they started a small elbowing war that probably left them both bruised on one side.

“The dragoness has come to ensure that the huntress is eating properly,” Terezi's raspy voice came up behind Nepeta as Eridan wandered away, and Nepeta companionably rested her head on Terezi's shoulder.

“The very sad huntress reports that she will eat and is probably going to be ok.” Terezi smooched Nepeta's temple, making her smile.

“The dragoness would like to inform the sad huntress that there is a really great show happening and she should take a look at the humans.” Nepeta looked up and sure enough, the humans were pretty entertaining. They all had very small plates of cooked Equius—organs, from the looks of it—and some were visibly working up the courage to eat, while others were either encouraging or discouraging this effort. They had all piled up on side dishes.

The room smelled like food and spices, and as Nepeta looked around, she felt her spirits lift, just a little. Equius might be gone, but he was not forgotten. And wasn't that the greatest legacy a troll could have?

**Author's Note:**

> If you care to know, primacy for the meal goes moirail->matesprit->kismesis->ashen mediator->other ashen partners. Whichever quadrant the deceased troll falls into gets skipped, rather than having someone substitute in for it.
> 
> Eridan got food before Nepeta because she wasn't paying attention. Terezi had the choice to go up as Vriska's moirail or as Nepeta's matesprit, and chose going after Vriska because that'd allow her to eat sooner, especially if she wanted to eat any organs or help remove Equius's stomach and intestines.
> 
> Rose, Dirk, and Jade all thought Equius tasted ok and ate their portions; Jake, Dave, and John disagreed and didn't finish their portions (Dave tried really hard and just couldn't); Roxy and Jane never tried theirs.


End file.
